I Am Back: A Personal Reflection on Faith, Marriage, Motherhood, and Growth

 

Hey, you.

I’m sure you’re wondering where I’ve been, or what’s been happening.
Let’s just say… I’ve been evolving.

A lot has happened—some quietly, some loudly.
For a while, I lost my spark. Not because the words disappeared, but because I ran into a creative block I didn’t talk about. I kept it to myself, hoping it would pass on its own. It didn’t. It stayed longer than I expected, and recovery took time.

Then life began to layer itself on me.

Motherhood.
Wifehood.
Sisterhood.
Friendhood.
Every hood you can think of (smiles).

Looking back now, I realize I needed the space. I needed the silence. I needed the becoming. And honestly, it feels really good to be back here with you.

A lot has changed since the last time I wrote. I’m seeing life from a different perspective now. Marriage, they say, is a teacher—and they were right. I came in with assumptions, high expectations, and a fair share of fantasies. Sometimes I had to pause and ask myself, “Am I really okay?” because the gap between fantasy and reality can be loud.

But here’s the truth: I am learning. I am growing. And I genuinely love being married. God truly does give good gifts.

Marriage requires a level of maturity no one really prepares you for—especially emotional maturity. Sometimes what you want, even when it’s good, won’t come the way you expect. Not because love is lacking, but because marriage is not built around one person. It’s about two people learning, unlearning, choosing, and growing together.

Marriage is beautiful. It is God’s design. And in a world that feels increasingly loud and confusing, I’ve learned to let God be my standard. To watch. To learn. To relearn. To ask for wisdom. And most importantly—to trust Him.

Now… to the highest hood in town: motherhood.

Some days I honestly wonder how our parents survived this season, because there are days I want to elope—with no forwarding address. Motherhood is demanding. It stretches you in ways you didn’t know were possible, and yet asks you to give your very best, even when you feel empty.

Still, grace shows up. Strength grows. Love deepens.

So I guess this is me saying: I’m back.
I don’t have everything figured out. I don’t know exactly how things will work out. But I want to show up—honestly, imperfectly, consistently.

And I want you to hold me accountable when I disappear.

If you’re new here, I’m AneakSpeaks—a writer navigating faith, growth, womanhood, love, and the many seasons of becoming. This space holds poems, reflections, and honest conversations drawn from lived experience and quiet faith.

If you’ve been here before, thank you for staying.

Now tell me—can you make me feel welcome?
Let’s talk in the comments 🤍