Friend

So this beautiful evening l thought to write on something that l think is very important to this generation and has caused a lot of pain and happiness. I am  talking about a seven (7) letter word called FRIEND. Now what is the definition of a friend ? According to the English dictionary it means   "A person other than a family member, spouse or lover whose company one enjoys and towards whom one feels affection.'' but according to moi (my) dictionary, a friend is someone who sees your flaws and loves you and is ready to mess around with anyone who disturbs you.
        
        So the big questions is,Why do we need friends?
Why l think a friend is needed is because:
1. There are some things you can't just tell anyone one but a friend.
2.  They start your learning process, that is they help you grow and give you vital life skills which means they can sharpen your mind set , your life style, your emotional life and so on .
There is a saying "No man is an island" in other words you need people in your life (friends). There is this thing l know about friends they can either Mar you or Make you, so one has to be careful when choosing their friends. I do not believe in the school of thought that says you need friends when you are lonely.  I am sure you know that friends can make you miserable too because there is a dark side to every friendship. Someone wrote this and l quote "The people who know you the best are also the ones who have the most power to betray you,should the relationship sour. ". Your relationship shouldn't sour because someone hurt you. What makes you close to your friends are those quarrels and hurts. Don't get me wrong , don't hurt your friends because you want to get close to them. According to Bob Marley "The truth is everyone is going to hurt you , you've just got to find the ones worth suffering for".
There is something Carlin flora calls  Friendfluence Effect.  Friendfluence is the powerful and often under appreciated role that friends both past and present play in determining our sense of self and the direction of our lives.
Be  ready to say no to friends that stress you,betray you, makes life miserable for you,everybody should not be your friend.There are some people that you can learn from but they aren't your friends. Just because they call you, text you, or even give you gifts doesn't make them your friend. Some of them just want to hurt you badly.
So, a friend told me that it depends on individual definition of who a FRIEND is to you. Not everyone that calls you friend is actually your friend so you need to define your friendship . Don't you ever be the designated friend in any group of friends. Don't be the DUFF (DESIGNATED UGLY FAT FRIEND). You actually don't have to be ugly or fat at all l just mean is don't be the side friend.
       Who is a SIDE FRIEND ?
A side friend is the designated friend which the other friends runs to when there is a quarrel. Let me give an example, Titi, Sola and Bisi are best of friends. Bisi is the side friend. Sola prefers to gist with Titi more than Bisi because she believes she is not in their league. They tell her what they think she should know. Please and please don't be anyone's side friend. 
There is a saying  "Show me your friend and l will tell you who you are".The Bible says "By their fruits you shall know them." Be careful to choose your friends wisely and prayerfully.
    WARNING:
Don't be friends with somebody that can not share your pain,your smile and your tears.
•Your friend should be able to hold your hands when you're about to fall.
•Your friend should be able to pray for you and with you.
•Your friend must encourage you.
You know, l keep saying that not everybody should be your friend, not everybody loves you, please be careful. This is my own advice "Little friends, less trouble and worries while Plenty friends, big problem and worries".