WELCOME TO ANEAKSPEAKS

“You’ve never lived my life" My line of defense every time I felt a conviction. It was proof that I saw conviction as accusation - Something incessantly telling me I was in the wrong And that was the last thing I needed to hear Because no one had ever lived my life. The arrogance I must have wallowed in, My conversations with divinity varied depending on whose personality I was trying to connect with I made small talks forgetting that He had no ego I could stroke Nonetheless, I moved with my tears, sighed and cried for help ‘You’ve never lived my life’ I unleashed my disappointment at the life I lived Salvation promised me newness, freshness and a blank page Remember that ‘your sins He would remember no more' line? Well, all my life gave off was a hint of constant failures and a huge splash of imposter syndrome I didn’t fit into the commonwealth of the saints with the life I was now living. Still I lied Still I held back the truth Still I allowed myse...

Like a stray dog on a winter night, I walked by all the places I used to get wasted, Hoping for some kind of redemption and reconciliation from the idol I once worshipped, Broken and un-healed From all the sticks and stones hauled at me By the mouths I fed from my fingers. It was daylight, but the sun refused to shine. The air only spread forlorn hope So deeply that my fate was devoid of Faith. If I rise and go to my father, Would he in open arms blot out my transgressions? Like a damned worshipper of my idol, I allowed in the sins of my flesh . My mind shattered into pieces of broken dreams And reality posing as a toothless masquerade. Where was my faith? I took a walk along the lonely narrow path To find redemption in the woods so dark. A cry for help, my soul to heal From all that separated me from my creator. I wandered off in oblivion Till my feet refused to carry on. I looked up and there he stood on the hilltop, Amidst the darkness glimmering light...

All I heard was the hooting sound of the train. And my flesh crawled to life. Everything I desired was in this train My will was mine and my lust was fine. I cared less about who drove the train I was having the time of my life This way seemed right to me But the driver never mentioned that it was a dead-end I was heading for the walls that Pharoah hit The walls that Herod hit That has death graffitied on it. Littered with other pleasure-trains Piled up into a mountain of mangled flesh and metal How could such pleasurable place Be a one-way trip to death’s feet? I was going to get my answer from the driver But he lied to my face. Claiming all I heard about the walls was a lie Lo, I went back to my fun Until I saw it The wall The mountain of mangled flesh and metal! The grafitti I had been deceived by the king of all liars. Debauchery never tasted more bitter Literally, I was at my end My strength had become weak I could only cry to the one I ran...

Woke up in the middle of the night So many thoughts popping through my head I can barely keep up My hearts starts to race as always Beside me is a bottle of wine and a old journal drowned with my pain, Watching as the stars are born, waiting for the whisky to whisk me away. Years keep on slipping away Sitting here wishing I got a chance to express how I really feel My silence is getting louder while my hearts screams voiceless The air is getting crisps, My eyelids has refused to bend to my will, I feel a change in me but I ask myself Is this a night of confusion  or  a ride to the truth Freedom is good but freedom is never free. Freedom is confined in the creators book I learnt Maybe I have lost myself within my past Just maybe I have lost track of the journey Is there a way back from this? Maybe I do need a fresh start, I overplayed my cards this time I really went astray This is not how I want to be remembered Lord knows have been around in my...

Life is white and could be black But the larger part is grey 25 has been a journey To becoming a sharpened spear Every experience is an abrasion Wearing me out by sharpening my end Some times it feels like I have lived an eternity and other times I am reminded at I still have a long way to go. My love with 25 was short but I will love to describe  it with three words I. Grew. Up. My thought pattern changed, my priorities shifted and my ideology is being constantly  stretched, twisted, and redefined through experiences and the people I meet. Black and white are not the same thing so also people are different My journey with 25 taught  alot of things and I will love to share it with you. This is my own 25 things I learnt at age 25 1. Life does not revolve around you; I mean life has a principle. Do well and follow through, So stop making excuses and find out what life wants to teach you. After all, life also knows what you have planned to achieve, t...

SHE: Waking up grumpy and sleepy I stepped out of my abode to hear croak voice of the frog trying to tell me how beautiful life is and the melodious song of the birds Just as l walked pass the fields l felt the tickling of breeze on my face and l tired holding on it but couldn't It tousled the lock of my hair I could hear the whisper of the wind in my ear and down to my soul. Just then l remembered how my lover cuddles me. The luscious scent of the Rose tickled my nose Just then my face lighten up and l looked up to see the sun smiling at me I delight to sit under the shade of the tree who is dancing shamelessly not minding who is underneath it The rain are over and gone The awakening of the flowers on the earth, the season of singing has come. The Fig tree forms its early fruit the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Oh my lover when would you be back, the night is drawing near. When would l embrace your soft spoken words. HE: I took an...

All inhibition taken away Like an excited can of soda Belleza eagerly opens her heart Showing you the fear, insecurities, The real person behind the adamantitanium exterior Belleza senses her vulnerability Belleza ignores her vulnerability Choosing to love you Your vision becomes hers Belleza chases her dreams But keeps your dreams as priority. Her heart yoked to you with the keys thrown into space Forever lost in the darkness and void. She will never remain the same. Belleza might be going out on a limb 'For you it's worth it', her thought. How do I respond Love isn't the butterflies There are butterflies tho Belleza's presence brings Disney to life. Sometimes it seems like Shoel My master says to love Her the way He loved the church The way Hosea loved the hoe Seeing all her flaws and inadequacies He exemplified Christ's interaction with the Church Belleza will anger me but I won't stop loving her. I wil...