WELCOME TO ANEAKSPEAKS

We all had one event that changed our lives, when we look back sometimes we've got mixed feelings.  That phase birthed a process in US because that was the beginning of change in our lives.  What's next after the pain? it's a question most of us ask ourselves. what happens when the refining and pruning process is ongoing? What results am I expected to get? What challenges would I encounter?  How will people perceive the changed me? Will I still be me? Who really am I? After publishing my story last year on my birthday,  I felt relieved because having to tell my parents physically wasn't something I could handle.  Well, people got to know the part of the story I was willing to tell.  So what happened after you told your story Ebun? Well they say time heals pain yeah!  Lets just say there is a price for the next level. Hmmm! Maybe someday I would share that story, *smiles*.  Just as I am writing this,  I have got tears in my eyes.  After s...

“You’ve never lived my life" My line of defense every time I felt a conviction. It was proof that I saw conviction as accusation - Something incessantly telling me I was in the wrong And that was the last thing I needed to hear Because no one had ever lived my life. The arrogance I must have wallowed in, My conversations with divinity varied depending on whose personality I was trying to connect with I made small talks forgetting that He had no ego I could stroke Nonetheless, I moved with my tears, sighed and cried for help ‘You’ve never lived my life’ I unleashed my disappointment at the life I lived Salvation promised me newness, freshness and a blank page Remember that ‘your sins He would remember no more' line? Well, all my life gave off was a hint of constant failures and a huge splash of imposter syndrome I didn’t fit into the commonwealth of the saints with the life I was now living. Still I lied Still I held back the truth Still I allowed myse...

Like a stray dog on a winter night, I walked by all the places I used to get wasted, Hoping for some kind of redemption and reconciliation from the idol I once worshipped, Broken and un-healed From all the sticks and stones hauled at me By the mouths I fed from my fingers. It was daylight, but the sun refused to shine. The air only spread forlorn hope So deeply that my fate was devoid of Faith. If I rise and go to my father, Would he in open arms blot out my transgressions? Like a damned worshipper of my idol, I allowed in the sins of my flesh . My mind shattered into pieces of broken dreams And reality posing as a toothless masquerade. Where was my faith? I took a walk along the lonely narrow path To find redemption in the woods so dark. A cry for help, my soul to heal From all that separated me from my creator. I wandered off in oblivion Till my feet refused to carry on. I looked up and there he stood on the hilltop, Amidst the darkness glimmering light...

All I heard was the hooting sound of the train. And my flesh crawled to life. Everything I desired was in this train My will was mine and my lust was fine. I cared less about who drove the train I was having the time of my life This way seemed right to me But the driver never mentioned that it was a dead-end I was heading for the walls that Pharoah hit The walls that Herod hit That has death graffitied on it. Littered with other pleasure-trains Piled up into a mountain of mangled flesh and metal How could such pleasurable place Be a one-way trip to death’s feet? I was going to get my answer from the driver But he lied to my face. Claiming all I heard about the walls was a lie Lo, I went back to my fun Until I saw it The wall The mountain of mangled flesh and metal! The grafitti I had been deceived by the king of all liars. Debauchery never tasted more bitter Literally, I was at my end My strength had become weak I could only cry to the one I ran...

Woke up in the middle of the night So many thoughts popping through my head I can barely keep up My hearts starts to race as always Beside me is a bottle of wine and a old journal drowned with my pain, Watching as the stars are born, waiting for the whisky to whisk me away. Years keep on slipping away Sitting here wishing I got a chance to express how I really feel My silence is getting louder while my hearts screams voiceless The air is getting crisps, My eyelids has refused to bend to my will, I feel a change in me but I ask myself Is this a night of confusion  or  a ride to the truth Freedom is good but freedom is never free. Freedom is confined in the creators book I learnt Maybe I have lost myself within my past Just maybe I have lost track of the journey Is there a way back from this? Maybe I do need a fresh start, I overplayed my cards this time I really went astray This is not how I want to be remembered Lord knows have been around in my...

Life is white and could be black But the larger part is grey 25 has been a journey To becoming a sharpened spear Every experience is an abrasion Wearing me out by sharpening my end Some times it feels like I have lived an eternity and other times I am reminded at I still have a long way to go. My love with 25 was short but I will love to describe  it with three words I. Grew. Up. My thought pattern changed, my priorities shifted and my ideology is being constantly  stretched, twisted, and redefined through experiences and the people I meet. Black and white are not the same thing so also people are different My journey with 25 taught  alot of things and I will love to share it with you. This is my own 25 things I learnt at age 25 1. Life does not revolve around you; I mean life has a principle. Do well and follow through, So stop making excuses and find out what life wants to teach you. After all, life also knows what you have planned to achieve, t...

SHE: Waking up grumpy and sleepy I stepped out of my abode to hear croak voice of the frog trying to tell me how beautiful life is and the melodious song of the birds Just as l walked pass the fields l felt the tickling of breeze on my face and l tired holding on it but couldn't It tousled the lock of my hair I could hear the whisper of the wind in my ear and down to my soul. Just then l remembered how my lover cuddles me. The luscious scent of the Rose tickled my nose Just then my face lighten up and l looked up to see the sun smiling at me I delight to sit under the shade of the tree who is dancing shamelessly not minding who is underneath it The rain are over and gone The awakening of the flowers on the earth, the season of singing has come. The Fig tree forms its early fruit the blossoming vines spread their fragrance. Oh my lover when would you be back, the night is drawing near. When would l embrace your soft spoken words. HE: I took an...

All inhibition taken away Like an excited can of soda Belleza eagerly opens her heart Showing you the fear, insecurities, The real person behind the adamantitanium exterior Belleza senses her vulnerability Belleza ignores her vulnerability Choosing to love you Your vision becomes hers Belleza chases her dreams But keeps your dreams as priority. Her heart yoked to you with the keys thrown into space Forever lost in the darkness and void. She will never remain the same. Belleza might be going out on a limb 'For you it's worth it', her thought. How do I respond Love isn't the butterflies There are butterflies tho Belleza's presence brings Disney to life. Sometimes it seems like Shoel My master says to love Her the way He loved the church The way Hosea loved the hoe Seeing all her flaws and inadequacies He exemplified Christ's interaction with the Church Belleza will anger me but I won't stop loving her. I wil...

There comes a time when it seems all hope is lost. That all you could see is the gloom and not the bloom. That all you could hear is the sadness and not the sweet voices of happiness. That there seems to be no future to feature any further. Sometimes you are in the mountain, you feel you are too high because of the loneliness of being successful. Sometimes you are in the valley, all you feel is to take a sigh from been overburdened with giving cares. It feels like being in a tunnel It feels like being a passage without a channel It feels like been engaged in a shell And it feels like hell At times you see the light a distance With so much fighting resistance That it seems there will not be any change to your circumstance. I am here to tell you that the sunlight is just behind the cloud. I write to inform you that your good news will come loudly. Your darkness will give way to light Your stars will become bright Your problem that seems so big will become slight. T...

Faith in my darkest hour Hmm…my experience through the darkest path of my life streams between taking decisions within thin routes that may never be understood by anyone only if I explain. I believe that’s why someone has to hear this and understand the deepest part in my journey of faith in dark times. I will start by saying that the opportunities I have gained through this journey, where strength had evolved and mistakes were made, was just by a tool called GROWTH. I remember back then when I was in school (university) and I was on a zero point CGPA. I was down, I felt neglected and ashamed of myself amongst others. For the first time I knew what it meant to be depressed, or to feel like being far away from people. On a serious note, all of a sudden the smiles, the opportunities and stage landmarks (as at then lol) I would get were fading off; there was virtually no one to speak to. Any normal parent who has invested so much, will definitely feel bad and highly disappointed. I mean,...

Life is in stages, Every stage is a learning and growing process , Going through the process is not an easy task. The process is not kind , But the result is monumental. We prefer dreams to reality Life isn't easy, The shame, struggle and pain are always there, fears and worries, That plague us everyday. Process births Growth. You grow when you get tested, Your mistakes sharpen and form  you to become wise, humble and focus. The pain changes you. Whenever you going through life's valley stand tall, Stay through it, Don't loose faith, The process will be rough and tough, Be grateful for the process. When the process gets tougher, When the learning gets harder , trust the trainer in charge of the process, The teacher will always be silent during the test but when the student is ready the teacher appears. The process will not kill you but make you stronger. The journey is not to the swift but to the one who grace has been given too. Look beyond the...

My eyes were shut tight, My eyelids, intimate, Close and closed; From the entrance of the rays, I had seen the worst of days There’s no point making hay The sun no longer shone These were dark times. Different hues of colours I could still see, Sometimes black, other times red, I saw a mix of black and red once, It was sharp, intense and furious I was almost forced to open my eyes But I didn’t I tightened my fists As though my eyes were in my hands. No one told me That closed eyes opened up to more reflexes, The ability to hear one’s mind louder than ever, My senses were heightened, I could feel the hope that would strengthen, I heard tongues and voices of men, Who unlike me, had opened their eyes, Opened their minds and felt it all. They spoke of a city I couldn’t imagine They spoke of a time I hadn’t lived in, They spoke of an era of greatness and wisdom Their words resonated with my new powers As truth, as light, as sound and as air, My eyes marked...